The Mind and Music of Me
There’s nothing like petrified peas and chicken-ish flavoring to whet one’s appetite. Oh, and then there’s the noodles. They look strangely like crimped hair from the ’80s with an excessive amount of hairspray. Personally, I am not a fan of the Ramen. I hear, though, that my future career in advertising may require my submission to this faux-food. Just for the first few years, they say. How encouraging.
So what better time to test the boiling waters and see how I fare in the land of the noodles. A whole week on Ramen alone sounds like a trip to the hospital, but I decided I should give it a try anyway. I mean, I certainly didn’t have money to lose considering at certain supermarkets you can literally purchase 100 packets for $10.00. That’s ridiculous and I don’t trust it. And I did not purchase 100. That seemed a bit excessive plus there was no room in the cart due to the kitty litter. I would start with five packages, determine my flavor preference, and then return for my remaining rations. (For those concerned with extreme accuracy, I actually purchased ‘Cup O Noodles’, which may not be technically Ramen, but I hear they’re made with the same chemicals).
At home, the challenge began. Chicken Flavor was first up. Boiled water. Cup O Noodles. Pour water. Cover lid. Wait for mystery magic. It is time. Fork? Spoon? Fork? Spoon? Fork? Spoon. Consume.
Halfway into my first meal, which was reluctantly consumed at 9:00AM, I decided to turn my “Week of Ramen” into my “Business Week of Ramen”. Five business days seems reasonable, no? Seven seems a bit excessive. No one will ever know that I changed the rules. I mean, I will know. And might feel a bit guilty. But I’ll get over it.
Now I may have misread the instructions, but the vegetables involved did not soften into their usual consistency and I found myself crunching peas. Disgusting. The flavor itself hinted at chicken broth, but the never ending noodles kept me so busy twisting that I was too preoccupied to actually taste. Noodle by noodle, however, I finished my task. Ramen, by the way, is not a breakfast food and is awful paired with orange juice.
Upon reaching the bottom of the cup, I had a sobering moment of truth. This can not go on.
As faithful as I wish I could have been to this task, I threw in the napkin after only one round. I am ashamed to admit it, but this was a bucket list failure. Or perhaps a look at the bright side will redeem me. It is better to have loved…and…lost……….no, not relevant. If at first you don’t succeed…….I am definitely not trying again. You can lead a horse to…Ramen…but you can’t make it….eat. Yes! That is it.
Perhaps the most important moral is that I better get a stellar first job, because I will never make it on Ramen alone. Nor will I attempt it again. Lesson learned.